Singing Along the Journey

Faith

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More

A tug and a pull…

I'm starting this Wednesday morning with a confession:  over the past couple of years, as I have worked with the concept of "discernment", lived in a place of discernment, worked to always practice true discernment, listened, prayed, thought, probed --truthfully, I have come, well, to dislike the word discernment.  In fact, as of yesterday, I would do anything to avoid the word, the concept, the idea -- if, sitting across from someone, they had leaned forward and told me in hushed tones that they were in a period of discernment, I probably would have had to leave the room -- no matter the depth of their sincerity or need.  The…
Read More

Yes, it is better together…

To state the obvious for anyone over the age of 20, yesterday was the the 10th anniversary of the events of 9-11-2001.  Much has been written and said about how we all feel about what happened in 2001, and what we think of the years since.  But I would like to share with you what I felt about, well, yesterday. First of all, I am as much an anniversary driven creature as any other human.  I was thinking yesterday as I drove out of our driveway, how much like my dog Gracie I really am.  When something unpleasant or frightening happens to her, she instinctively expects it to happen again,…
Read More

And, one more thing on the topic of sin…

Well, for now anyway.  Back to the book I've been reading, Uncommon Gratitude, by Sr. Joan Chittister and Bishop Rowan Williams. I can't move on to the chapter on "Saints" before I finish digesting the one on "Sinners". I have spent the greater part of my energy over the last two years trying to find some resolution, some combination of what I experience as the call to communicate through musical performance and music education, and the call to discipleship....calls which have often seemed too divergent to manage or even to coexist in one life, at least in this world in which we live.  But I continue to be very unsuccessful…
Read More

Yes, I’m a sinner, but I guess I’m a good one…

Okay, I know that the title bears some explanation.  If you've been following my writings at least a little bit, you know that last spring, after a year of agonized questing and trying, I stopped actively looking for a way to "answer" the strong call of Gospel living that I felt and feel on my life.  I decided to to stop enrolling, pursuing, managing, forcing, and in general applying my considerable human will to answering that call, and to try a different approach:  I did nothing.  And, I must tell you, I really did nothing.  I haven't read a book, I haven't made a plan, I haven't looked forward --…
Read More

Lucky girl…

As if there is anyone out there who does not know this, I'm going to tell you that we had an earthquake here in the District of Columbia on Tuesday, August 23.  And, as I sit here writing this, we are awaiting the arrival of a hurrican named Irene (although if weather forecasting has any veracity at all, those of us here in the city will only see Irene as a tropical storm). Mostly, I'm writing about this for myself, since it is hardly news.  But I want to remember the events of this week far into the future. I suppose that there are many in this country who think…
Read More

I See God in the Sunrise…and…

A friend and I have this kind of running joke with our pastor...it stems from a class where we were reading the book Claiming Theology from the Pulpit and learning to put labels on our own very distinct theological viewpoints.  We were talking about pantheism, whether or not that was an accurate theology or a heresy, as it was labelled by the early church fathers, etc., etc., and so forth.  My friend, who is a great lover of animals and all things "nature", made an impassioned argument for "seeing God in the sunrise".  Our pastor, of course, argued strongly for the other side.  It was a fun theological evening (yes,…
Read More

Being the foreigner…

At the same time that I feel a part of Madrid's comida lifestyle, I am often aware that I am "the foreigner".  And that awareness makes me think differently of so many of the people I know who are immigrants in my own country, both legal and not.  It makes me think more carefully about what daily life must be like for them.  As my mother always taught me, to learn how to love your brother, walk a mile in his shoes. This is, of course, not the first time that I have spent an extended time in another country and culture.  But somehow, the difference of my position here…
Read More

Long long ago…and tomorrow

Someone very dear to me (and you know who you are) once said to me:  "I see God in you....in  your constant commitment to learning and questioning and knowing what it is, exactly, that God is telling you.  Keep asking questions.  I think God is in the questions for you--you see Him there."  Well, I have a confession to make:  I really haven't been asking too many questions the last couple of months -- I believe, really, that I was tired.  And, that maybe it was time to just let a year of whirling-dervish question- asking settle. But, as will probably not surprise this friend and many others, as I…
Read More

The weight of it all…

A year ago today, I was licensed to the Gospel Ministry at the Calvary Baptist Church.  As a member of my committee  (and someone whose grace and spirit I admire so deeply) said to me immediately afterward, in the grips of a welcome hug, "So, do you feel the weight of the Gospel call on your life yet?"   At the time, I probably thought that I did -- I certainly understood the solemnity of the choice that I had just made, the gravity of standing in front of my community and declaring it, the responsibility involved in asking for their confirmation of my call and the duty I had in…
Read More

Roses and the meaning of Life…

I live in the city -- I mean, really, the city...so when I refer to my "garden" I am talking about the the 4 foot by 10 foot stretch of post-construction dirt rubble that was used to fill in the hill in the front of our house, some 40 years ago.  I am quite lucky, since I have the space in front of two houses in our row (the house next door is a rental property belonging to a friend, where I am also allowed to garden), but considering that I grew up with a full acre to garden in, well, you get the idea...it is small.  But over the…
Read More