In American culture of the 21st century (and before this time, too), we are often so defined in the eyes of others by the answer to what is so often the first question that comes up during the social ritual of "small talk":  "So, what it is that you do?"  You're answer to that question defines in so many ways the direction that the conversation to follow will take, or, in fact, whether or not there will be a conversation at all.    For years, my answer has been my affirmation:  "Oh, I sing opera."   And now, I am ready to change that answer. But my mind and my speech need…